Story.

For me, my story is what fuels me. It’s why I believe in this so much. This owning your story. This claiming your story. This living your life and not letting your life live you. It’s why I believe in counseling and therapy, in journaling, in coaching, in freedom, in changing your truth, in alone time and in safe spaces with safe people.

I feel like my story hit rock bottom when, at 27, I found myself a divorced widow. I don’t know if that is a real term, but I have used it to describe myself since the day I learned that my first husband had passed away in a tragic accident just a few short months after our divorce was finalized. My life had already been turned upside down with our divorce, but to add his death on top of everything shattered me completely.

It has been a long journey, that I will be on for the rest of my life, but owning my story has changed my life. Being present in my grief was so important for me and letting each day be it’s own was crucial in that process. Whether a day was so bad I hardly knew how to breathe, or I found myself basking in the sunshine and enjoying the simple things in life. His death brought to light how much I wanted to live real life, the life that was right in front of me. I wanted to feel all the things, all the time. I wanted to be alive, not just survive.

Living in the midst of grief looked like a lot of counseling, finding safe spaces, safe people, living in the uncomfortable and living in the joy. Coaching helped me really own and finally realize that I was and that I am capable. That I am strong, I am worthy, I am loved, I am my own. I began to really and fully love myself with all my quirks and imperfections.

This is why I believe in owning your story. It is so, so worth it.

Spirituality.

I grew up an evangelical christian. I was a good girl through and through. I memorized the bible verses. I prayed. I read “I kissed dating goodbye”. I went to bible school {also known as bridal school}. I believed. I lived 1 Corinthians 13. I loved. I lost. I cried. I mourned. I suffered. I carried my cross.

And then I decided that the safest decision for me in my first marriage was to get a divorce…which good christian girls do not do. Even if you have “biblical grounds” it still feels wrong and sinful and you are told as much.

Even when you are supported {by certain people}…there is still this gap, this justification that you feel is needed.

And don’t get me started on the bible. And what it has to say about it…and how the church decides to interpret scripture so that divorce “isn’t an option”.

I slowly lost my “faith” through the life I chose in the wake of my awakening that was sparked by my divorce. Not in a throw it away and hate God kind of way. Instead it was slow and loving and freeing and glorious and surprising and self honoring. It felt like coming home which felt weird…because being a christian was who I was…so who am I now that I don’t identify as a christian?

I am still on this journey. Wondering what is around the next bend. But as I live my day to day, I am more open, to all things spiritual and I am finding so much life and awareness and beauty in this openness.

Things I am LOVING as I open myself up when it comes to spirituality: crystals, tarot, meditation, yoga, affirmations, human design, the cycles of the moon, mala beads.

Who am I {now} and what is my heart around serving you through your own life transitions?

I am whole. I am free. I am grounded. I am love. I belong. I am light. I am deep. I am playful. I explore. I question. I wonder. I wander. I am intuitive. I am gracious. I am open. I am glorious.

I am only these things, I am only the fullest expression of my truest self, because I have chosen the path of transformation, of self exploration, of self belonging. And that is what I invite you into. Through your transitions, I invite you to explore the depths of WHO YOU ARE…and also who you want to be. I invite you to wonder. I invite you to question and wonder if the truth that you hold as truth is actually true.

I have transformed through transitions I have chosen and ones I have not. The transformation brings you choice when you feel like you have none, and that was life changing, and life giving, for me. And I want you to experience the choice of transformation as well.

You have a choice to transform through your transitions. And only you will know when you are ready for the transformation. And that is beautiful. It is not up to anyone to convince you of this. Instead it is a deep knowing, a peace, a groundedness. And when you are ready to explore I would be honored to explore with you. You are not alone.